tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-392047979339999402.comments2011-03-04T19:24:16.696+00:00Peace, Hope & ClarityRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09229776462169572922noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-392047979339999402.post-4212392868062694672011-03-04T19:24:16.696+00:002011-03-04T19:24:16.696+00:00Thanks for your comment Rose :-)
He does seem to ...Thanks for your comment Rose :-)<br /><br />He does seem to be taking it seriously, and his reactions to everything have been really different to a 'classic abuser' reaction so I've been surprised. Whether this leads to him truly changing his beliefs and values... well, I really have no idea.<br /><br />You are right, it's really common, I seem to see this emotionally abusive, controlling aspect in quite a few relationships now that I know more about it!! Frightening really. <br /><br />If someone punches you in the face, most rational people will acknowledge that is wrong and be supportive. If someone just tells you you are doing something wrong, or that you are a bit lazy or rubbish at X, Y or Z when you don't believe that to be the case, or all the other confusing things that they do - well, it's hard to explain and impossible to understand unless you've been there :-/ If he had gone further and hit me (he did hit me once, and kicked me hard once too but only those times in 14 years) or physical violence had gone from 2 one-offs to an escalating pattern then it would have been easier for me to identify. Do you know what I mean?<br /><br />Anyway, I'm working on my mo jo :-D<br /><br />xxRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09229776462169572922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-392047979339999402.post-53661337016524233162011-03-03T21:48:56.063+00:002011-03-03T21:48:56.063+00:00Do you ever wonder whether it would have been &quo...Do you ever wonder whether it would have been "easier" if he had been obviously physically abusive? Whether you would have had more support from your nearest and dearest? I think a lot of women have been knocked down verbally by their partners in various ways. Some of what you relate is really familiar to me. In fact some of it reminds me of my eldest son's behaviour towards me, picking a fight and twisting it to be my fault (over a period of time) but thankfully he left home and get on great now. Of course once you have lost your own confidence and forget what is reasonable then how can you ever "get out" of a relationship? It is never as easy as picking up a bag and walking out. It's still not easy for you now. At least this blog will remind you of the reasons for the breakup and the conditions under which you will accept him back. It does sound as though he is taking the actions of his own accord and taking it seriously. This can only be a good sign. <br />My ex used to make me feel completely unreasonable and everything was my fault. Even now (after 16 years) we can have a conversation that leaves me feeling bad/inadequate/stupid and then afterwards I see reason. If there is no space to step away how can you ever get your mo jo back?<br />Love - Rose xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-392047979339999402.post-1110400828385444222011-01-31T10:21:41.538+00:002011-01-31T10:21:41.538+00:00Oh my poor sweet girl. 14 years you say?
I have n...Oh my poor sweet girl. 14 years you say? <br />I have no experience to help you, but all I can say is you are a strong lady. Strong for staying and hoping/wishing things will change and that you will have a happy home, but stronger still for having the courage to know this is wrong and you deserve better. I'm glad you found that book too. Your last post (this one I'm commenting on) has made my stomach turn. Remember who you are first and foremost and stay strong. Be proud of yourself - I am xxxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17686057978927588322noreply@blogger.com