What is this blog about?

Hi there.

I am R, a mum of four children and also wife of A. 

I have been with my husband for nearly fourteen-and-a-half years, married for nearly nine.  To say our relationship has been rocky or a roller-coaster would be a major understatement.  What I have come to realise recently (January 2011) is that my husband is an expert in emotional - and occasional physical - abuse. 

Like most women in this situation, I have been spun into a whirl of confusion that turned my reality upside down and inside out, and had me doubting everything that I felt and saw.  Now, however, I have seen the light.  Just a glimmer at the moment, but I hope it will grow until I am living in it, and have put the darkness behind me for good.

Over the last two weeks since my epiphany (thanks to this book by Lundy Bancroft: Why Does He Do That?  Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.  If you think you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship GET IT!!) I have searched around on the internet for help and support and found it lacking.  I have found personal accounts validating and supportive, and that's one of the reasons I am starting this blog.  In the hope that someone somewhere in a similar situation will one day read through my blog and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

Of course, the other reasons are many.  To keep me occupied during this difficult time, to let friends know how I am getting on, to garner support and advice without clogging up other forums and to keep me sane and focussed on the truth.  It's too easy to be sucked back in, I need somewhere to come to bolster me during the hard times. 

My husband moved out of the family home ten days before I started this blog.  I am going to chart the goings on from that time, by copying posts from forums I am on and copying over emails too.

I hope this blog might reach some of those women experiencing the same thing, that you know you are not alone.