Sunday, 30 January 2011

The rest of Week 2

Two days after the email exhange about 'the book' and I still hadn't heard anything.  It was the Wednesday. 

I was on my emotional rollercoaster.  One minute feeling quite positive, one minute feeling dreadful and hollow.  The continual contact needed with family (wondering if you are Ok) sometimes helped and sometimes really didn't.  The contact with banks/bills/utilities/landlord/benefits agencies was really something I could have done without at this stage.

The children seem to spend a lot of time watching movies or reading at the moment.  I think it's some basic escapism and something I'm doing too.  The youngest seemed confused about who was living where, and what house we were going to live with and asked lots and lots of questions at this point.  He's only just turned five, so I answered as best as I could.  He didn't seem upset or sad, just confused.

On Wednesday I got a text from him to say he'd been looking for abuser programmes to contact, without much joy and had spoken to a counsellor nearby who wanted to talk to me before seeing if she could recommend anyone.

I phoned her a couple of times at the time she specified but got no answer.  While waiting I decided to go on her website to see what she was about.  She seemed to specialise in 'getting people to address relationship issues caused by childhood problems'.  That wasn't all it said but there was no mention of any 'abuser programmes' so I started to wonder if he was trying to go along the 'it's your fault, you are oversensitive: it's your fault, you haven't dealt with childhood issues' line again.  This is another thing.  I'm not sure of myself!  I am now suspicious, but wonder if I'm over reacting...

I was pondering how to respond to this when I got a text from my husband saying not to bother with that counsellor because he had spoken to somebody from an abuser programme that runs around an hour away (the nearest one) and he is having his initial consultation on the Friday.

I was blown away, because it seems that he's kind of moving in the right direction.  So I felt really emotional then.

I couldn't (and can't) believe how much had happened in ten days.

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