Friday, 18 February 2011

Homeopath visit.

I saw the homeopath a couple of days ago.  I have been going since around August, and this was probably the fifth or so appointment.  I started going because I felt that I have lost sight of 'me' and wanted to genuinely feel free to be me.  I identified that I felt stifled and like I couldn't be myself.  I couldn't have imagined how everything would change since that first visit.  Mainly I think the remedies then were to cleanse out any toxins from my body (residual from antibiotics and vaccines) and to allow any 'issues' to surface when I was ready to deal with them.

Since then I've had remedies to help with fear, anxiety, to uncover repressed emotions etc.  Each time I've had a strong physical reaction very soon after starting the new remedies and a pretty *huge* emotional reaction has occurred more gradually over the last few months.

First up I became hyper-aware of each instance that I was changing my behaviour and what I said as a reaction to someone else.  This happened quite regularly and was nearly always to do with my husband.  I also became aware of my reactions to other people and how I was handling things.  I couldn't seem to change my reactions or behaviour initially, and wasn't frustrated by that.  I was just observing myself, in a way - which is a good way to start being myself I suppose!

Then I started re-visiting my old interests and some new ones.  I started to do things for myself - regardless of the reaction I knew I would get from my husband.  I suddenly felt like it didn't matter what he thought, and that I was Ok with that.  Prior to this I'd been always second-guessing what he thought, and always trying to minimise or negate the constant disapproval that I felt from him. 

Then, of course, suddenly just after Christmas we separated - you know the story of that!  (If you've read the blog, you do, anyway.)

As usual it was a really useful appointment.  Just going over all the emotional and physical symptoms I have had in the last 5-6 weeks since I last saw her and linking them together is very insightful.  She is also totally non-judgemental about everyone involved which is helpful when you are not sure how you feel about them on any given day anyway ;-)

So, I have now moved onto some big grief remedies to support me me through present turmoil, having finished with the anxiety and fear remedies.  I still have some tincture for when I have any major anxiety happening, but I don't need it all the time now.  My anxiety and fear have faded from constant with racing mind and sleepless nights to reactionary - just when something happens.

I am also still taking the 'uncovering repressed emotions' remedy too, so we'll see what new things happen over the next 5 weeks until I see her again. 

I was always sceptical about homeopathy, having read through the scientific data and studies (as they are) but it has cured a physical ailment of my son's and now has had a huge and profound impact on me emotionally, and physically.  I suppose the proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

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