Peace, Hope & Clarity: It has passed

Monday 28 February 2011

It has passed

Yes, the missing him feelings from yesterday have passed.

I am feeling ok again today. Phew.

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I appreciate all your comments, advice and support.

R
xx

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The Myths About Abusers

1. He was abused as a child.
2. His previous partner hurt him.
3. He abuses those he loves the most.
4. He holds in his feelings too much.
5. He has an aggressive personality.
6. He loses control.
7. He is too angry.
8. He is mentally ill.
9. He hates women.
10. He is afraid of intimacy and abandonment.
11. He has low self-esteem.
12. His boss (mother/friend etc) mistreats him.
13. He has poor skills in communication and conflict resolution.
14. There are as many abusive women as men.
15. His abusiveness is as bad for him as for his partner.
16. He is a victim of racism.
17. He Abuses Alcohol or Drugs
Ref: The Book

When is it abuse?

1. He retaliates against you for complaining about his behaviour (whether immediately or 'at some other point')
2. He tells you that your objections to his mistreatment are your own problem.
3. He gives apologiies that sound insincere or angry, and he demands that you accept them.
4. He blames YOU for the impact of HIS behaviour.
5. It's never the right time, or right way, to bring things up.
6. He undermines your progress in life.
7. He denieis what he did (crazymaking)
8. He justifies his hurtful or frightening acts.
9. He touches you in anger or puts you in fear in other ways.
10. He coerces you into having sex or sexually assaults you.
11. His controlling, disrespectful or degrading behaviour is a pattern.
12. You show signs of being abused.
Ref: The Book